What I Started

The Austen Project ScreenYesterday, I started a little project: to read all of the Jane Austen novels by the end of the year. Somehow, I have never read a single one, and I find that odd. So I am changing that and blogging my reactions here, should you want to follow along.


It Just Goes To Show Ya


If there is one thing I should have learned by now, it’s that kids will prove you wrong. That they are all different from the next one of their breed. That what works for one will most definitely not  work for another.

Everyday since Zachary has been about 8 months old, we have done this little dance. The Please-Drink-From-This-Damned-Sippy-Cup dance. I was starting to wonder if I will need to pack him some bottles when he leaves for college one day. And picturing him carrying a lunchbox to school with a bottle in place of the little thermos inside. Or him toasting at his wedding with a friggin’ bottle instead of a champagne flute.

One of the reasons I used the expensive brand of bottles that I did was that they make these silicone drinking spouts to replace the nipples when the time comes. And little handles. And all I should have had to do was switch them out when the time came. But Zach isn’t Evan. And he isn’t any kid out there, and thus my plan was foiled. And so I started buying every sippy cup they make. Playtex, Avent, Baby Bjorn. Different Tommee Tippee ones than the ones we tried. The cheap Nuby ones. Gerber. Just about every bright color and pattern they make. All to try to get this kid to drink from a farkin’ cup already. And then I saw this coupon for a cheap brand and I thought to myself: “Self, why the hell not???” And so I bought yet another cup. And it worked. Holy crap, it worked!And so now I am on a mad search to find more of these. Our Tarjay only had one that wasn’t hot pink, and I bought it up. It’s the Nuk trainer cup. Dude, if you see it online somewhere, let me know.

>Houston, We Have a Problem (Maybe…Probably)

>I’m sorry if this is you. So, so sorry. But this is my little piece of the Blogosphere and therefore I must be honest here: There is very little on this earth that irritates me quite as much as a walkie-talkie kid…with a pacifier in his mouth or a bottle in his hand. In my mind, if you are big enough to walk and talk, it is time to surrender the binky. Again, I’m really sorry if this applies to you. I’m now having flashbacks to the distant relatives who arrived at a family function with twin 4-year-old boys with both pacifiers and diapers. If your kid can not only tell you, “Hey mom, I shit my pants,” and then follow that up by going and getting the wipes and a clean diaper and bringing them to you, then I think it may be close to time to start some sort of toilet learning with them. Call me crazy.
I remember going through this with Evan. Just like with Zach, he had a brand of pacifier he preferred. We discovered this and bought in bulk. Well, because anyone knows that pacifiers are disposable: you could buy 1 or 1,000 and no matter what, when you need one you will not be able to find it to save your life. But Evan preferred Mam pacifiers. And we loved them. He had one to match every outfit. And then one day, somewhere around 6 or 7 months, he just stopped needing one or wanting one. No problem, no worries. The same happened with his bottle. I offered him cups around 8 months or so, once he started drinking small amounts of juice. We had the nothing-but-formula-in-a-bottle rule. And he took to the cup right away with no problems. And when he was about 10 or eleven months, I just decided one day to stop the bottles. We never looked back. Diapers were another story. The kid was in Pull-Ups forever, and one day I will tell you all of my gut-splitting attempts to con Ev to use a toilet.

Zach’s first birthday is less than a week away, and the kid not only will not let go of the pacifiers, but he refuses (and I mean refuses) to use anything to drink other than a Tommee Tippee bottle. We have tried every cup out there, I think. Soft spouts, hard spouts, no spouts. Spill-proof or not. Bright colors. Handles to help him hold them. It really doesn’t matter. The Tommee Tippee line even gives us the ability to change the nipples in the bottles with soft, nipple-like silicone spouts. I thought this would work, since the spout would be the only thing different. The bottle will look the same and feel the same in his hand. But no. The milk/water/ juice comes out too quickly for him and he spits it out.
They tell you not to worry about it, that nobody ever goes off to college still on a bottle. But in my mind, we should be maing this transition.
Any ideas?