Let me wax philosophical about my life and how deep and meaningful every single word of this blog is sure to be…

Wait. Fuck that. I’m a pure, unadulterated bitch.

It’s okay, really. I worked really hard to earn the title. I can call myself that. (Let a man call me that and unless they have cat-like reflexes, my foot will  make swift contact with their testicles.) Quite simply, when life has handed me a big pile of shit, I have toiled away to make it smell like a fresh spring bouquet. School, work, school, work. And so it goes until I took my fam out of poverty and into the middle class. And I continue to strive to make it better. One day I will reach the top and there will be nowhere left to go from there. But for right now, I wanted it all and I got it: the husband, the 2 all-American kids, the career, the education. I do it all. And it can sometimes suck more than even I ever realized.

I should mention here that I am grateful. I really am. I have a mostly-happy marriage, though my husband can piss me off like no other. I have beautiful and healthy children, though the Big One can drive me crazy. My job is rewarding and pays what I need at the present time. And I do well in school, earning a very Geek-like A average. And one day, I’ll be able to say that higher education is safely behind me. Who can complain?


My inner bitch needs some sort of outlet, and if you are reading this, then you have stumbled upon that outlet. Because life, when one does everything, can become chaotic. Can make you pull your hair out. Can make you die of a friggin’ heart attack before the age of forty.

Screw that.

And so you get to read this. The Chronicles of Bitchypants.

Happy Bitching. Peace Out.


6 thoughts on “WTF?

  1. I love it that you’re awesome enough to call yourself “bitchy”! I too refer to myself this way. I love reading your “outlet” bc it makes me feel like I’m not the only one who feels like I’m going crazy-and I’m only a SAHM to one 3 year old boy! My husband owns a company with his dad and we live comfortably so I have the luxury of not having to work. But at the same time, I feel like I need an outlet and want to get my career going too! (I’m half-way through school and took a break when I was about 5 months pregnant). Reading your blog has given me motivation to want to jump back into the whole school thing!

  2. Wow, thanks, Heather! I can totally relate. Thanks for reading, and good luck! Completing my education was the best thing I could’ve done for myself–or can do.

    • Btw, your kids are absolutely adorable! Seeing your youngest makes my “babyfever” come back with a fury!!

      • My son Padyn was our surprise too! Jared and I had only been dating 2 months when we got engaged, then 1 month later we found out I was pregnant! We waited until he was 4 months before we got married though. Everyone told us we were crazy and I’m sure they all said we would never last, but we’re still crazy about eachother. Okay, I’ll stop replying now bc I know you have a shit-ton to do! It was good talking to you and I wish you the best with everything.

  3. Just found the “other” sections of your blog. Will copy them soon.

    Feel like I have known you 4-evah. . . and I don’t think you’re a bitch at all. But maybe that’s because we have a lot in common. And I am not a bitch. I am not. Shaddap.

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