(Almost) 18 Months and a Return to a Familiar Place

Zachy will be 18 Months next one week from today. As in halfway between one and two. I don’t know how this is possible when his birthday was jus yesterday and he was born just last week. But there it is.

He is so different from his brother. He loves being outside. When we go anywhere, he has to walk and be free. This has been the month where we had to buy refrigerator lock, make sure that the bathroom door stays closed, install more reliable cabinet locks. We have to take the knobs off of the stove after cooking, too. I thought they quit making stoves with the knobs on front for this reason, so that just tells you that the stove in this house is old as dirt. Today, I loaded the dishwasher, which I seldom use, only to have Zach keep turning it off. Which leads me to the most redneck thing I have done in my life.

Duct Tape. Duct tape is our friend, Y’all. I mean, we all know that it can be the hillbilly fix-all. But did you know that it is an excellent baby-proofing cure-all in a pinch? Turning the dishwasher off? Cover the dial with duct tape. Opening the oven door repeatedly? Duct tape on the side of the door buys you time until you can get to the store and buy a door lock for the oven. Playing with accordian closet doors, despite having just pinched his fingers? Wads of duct tape in the seams where the panels split keeps them from closing enough to squash tiny toddler fingers. There you have it: Redneck Parenting brought to you by Bitchypants.

I’m trying to come up with a list of new things he has mastered, but they are starting to blur together. Remember our sippy cup woes? Well, he finally will drink out of different ones. He is trying to use a spoon and fork, though he makes the biggest mess and eventually gives up. He still isn’t talking much, though I see a pattern with certain syllables and sounds. When Evan was this age, we were worried about his lack of vocabulary to the point that we had him evaluated by our state’s early intervention services. Turns out he had assigned his own nonsesne words to everything, and what sounded like jabber to us was actually a language he invented and mastered to represent the world around him. When he did start talking, it was with words that no toddler should even know, let alone pronounce and use in the proper context. I have a feeling this is also what is going on with Zach. He knows everything we tell him. He understands. The other day, I was looking for my stethoscope to leave for work. I kept asking John and Evan where it was. Zach ran off and came back with it in his little outstretched hands. What baby knows what a stethoscope is???? And he babbles the same sounds and syllables when we pass by businesses that we frequent locally. I think he may have more in common with his big brother than we imagined, and so I am trying not to worry. On the other hand, Evan was, after all, diagnosed with Asperger’s, so maybe I should be worrying…

So what are his likes and dislikes? Hmmm.


Baths, Outdoors, Teddy Bears, Elmo (much to my dismay–I hate the commercialism of characters), chicken nuggets, V8 Fusion juice, jumping on our bed, puzzles, looking out the window, climbing, running, dancing to any kind of music, his GloWorm, the damned pacifier, yogurt of any kind, broccoli, books, ripping up paper, any toy trucks and making the vroom sound, McDonald’s (I’m so ashamed of that, but I assure you he has had it sparingly!), The Sesame Street theme song, and the damned J.G. Wentworth commercials–you know, “Call JAAAAAAAAYYYYYY GEEEEEEEE Went! Worth! 877 Cash Now! To which he will run to the tv, I swear!


Getting dressed, diaper changes, his carseat, being carried anywhere, getting his teeth brushed, getting his nails trimmed, not getting his way, long car rides, riding in his stroller for too long, riding in a shopping cart for too long, mashed potatoes, when mommy reads or does any kind of school work, anybody being on the computer without allowing him  to sit on the desk and watch, being worn in the sling (this one makes me sad!), wearing bibs.

Okay, I think that’s it for now. Moving onward…


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