We’re going back. Waaaaaaay Back. And I’m not talking about the Thompson Twins I am listening to now. I’m taking about way back when Bichypants was Veruca. Okay, yeah, I know that was only this time last year when I wrote this post.
The calendar turned pages on me. And it is October, and time for Halloween. That means costumes. Candy. Trick-or-Treating with my babies. But wait! Our neighbors weren’t putting out the tacky decorations like they did last year. may be they weren’t going to do it this year! Score!
So I was here in the house with Zachy and Zach kept hearing noise and running to the door, thinking his “Daddeeeeeeeee” had arrived home from class. Must be the mailman, I thought. But it kept happening. And then there was a knock at the door and my neighbor asked if he could put the decorations on our side of the duplex too, you know, in the name of symmetry. Because if there is one thing that is awful and unsightly, it’s when your tacky fucking holiday decorations aren’t symmetrical. And so I glance outside and see that Halloween has thrown up all over the house. Of course I said yes, because at this point it isn’t going to make a bit of difference where the decorations are. It’s that bad.
There’s a cartoon-looking ghost hanging on fishing line. Some weird sculpture he whittled out of wood hanging in the tree. Caution tape everywhere. Plastic skulls and tombstones sticking out of the ground. The fake cottony spider-webby shit everywhere. I hate my life.
Dude, I’ll cover the Christmas decorations this year. And there will be no Tacky Plastic. It’s a new edict.