Mobile Smut

Stupid, silly girl that I am, I totally didn’t know this was possible. I’m serious when I say that, so if it is a no-brainer for you, please do not point out my ignorance. I like to think I’m brilliant, even if it just isn’t so. Evidence the contrary wears me out a little bit.

So last night, I was making the hubster rub my back while I cranked out even more papers for school. Corporate Social Responsibility, anyone? No? Well then how about the world of costing in management accounting?  I know, I know: It is but the stuff of which dreams are made. More like the making of a nightmare and my MBA in one swoop.

But anyhow, back to the issue at hand. My still-newborn Android phone with which I am enamoured dings to let me know I have a text or something. John immediately perks up: “Who is texting you at this hour?” It was 2 am.

“Oh, nobody. It just says I have new tweets.” And so I jabbed my finger at the touch screen, bringing my Twitter account to life and see that I have a new “mention” in Twitterese. And so I jab my finger at that link, and see that I was sent a link.

Cool.

And so I bring it up and….Oh. Oh my God.

I got sent fricken PORN. On my phone. At 2:00 in the farking morning.

“Holy shit, I just got sent PORN on my fricken PHONE!” To this, John really perks up. “You can do that?” Honestly, he sounds kind of excited by the idea, and now I am regretting that I bought the same damned phone I have because I am picturing him in traffic and looking at porn, in line at the grocery store and looking at porn, in the waiting room at the pediatrician’s office and looking at friggin’ porn….You get my drift, here. He’s a guy, and as progressive as I claim to be, there are just some stereotypes I cannot get out of my brain.

So now I’m a bit traumatized and have a sort of PTSD of the cellphone. I’m afraid to click on any links. What would’ve happened if I had been at work? Or sitting here with my kid?  In other words, what if I would’ve been somewhere other than my living room at 2 AM? What if my eyes get assaulted by girl-on-girl action everytime I try to see if the boys’ grandma got the pics I sent?

Has anyone else had this problem?

 

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3 thoughts on “Mobile Smut

  1. So typical. I hate when that happens. Almost as annoying as getting new followers and seeing that all they’ve tweeted about is a free iphone over and over again and nobody is following them. Like spammy twitter accounts flock my way.

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