>I don’t even think I mentioned this but…
A little over a month ago,I got seriously frustrated with my fam. Now before I make it sound like John is my bitch, let me explain that I work very, very long hours while John is home. I also make concessions because I am pretty OCD about the house and Martha-Fricken-Stewart could not keep a house to my specifications. So while I have all of the faith in the world in my husband, I know he can’t keep me happy on that front. But seriously.
There was one day where I came home from work and Evan’s dirty boxers were on the windowsill in the bathroom. And I was beyond grossed out. And so I talked to John about it. And Evan, because, face it, Ev is old enough to know where his dirty skivvies go. And I thought they got it. And then I came home the next week to garbage all on the floor around the garbage can, but not actually in it. And when I confronted my beloved boys yet again, the response was just that it was so difficult to keep up with Zach and clean at the same time. He almost had me feeling kind of bad for him. Almost.
Then I started to think of the Ergo carrier I bought for that purpose, because John refused to try the MobyWrap. And then I thought of how Zach has to be the easiest baby on the planet. During the day, he needs not much more than a few diaper changes and a few bottles. And at night when I’m at work? Pffft! Zach goes to bed no later than 8 PM and doesn’t wake until I come home in the morning.
And then something clicked in my brain. And I realized that while John and Evan couldn’t possibly clean because Zach kept them too busy, they sure had enough time to be able to report to me anything and everything that had happened on television that night. So-and-so beat You-know-who on WWE Raw. Snooki’s pouf was exceptionally big that night. MerDer had the sweetest moment on Greys. And Guess who’s hubster was sleeping with what’s-her-name’s on Desperate Housewives. But the garbage was on the floor around my garbage can.
And I swear, I cannot believe I didn’t catch on sooner. I mean, really? And so I thought deeply on the matter. Okay, not really “deeply”. I thought for about 15 minutes. And then I cancelled out cable. Ha! Hahahahaha! Read some books, you brats! Take that!
Only it kinda sucked. And it didn’t work. Instead of being more productive, they would just drop me off at work and then go and rent stacks upon stacks of movies. Evan’s homework still suffered. The house was still a mess. The only difference was that I couldn’t watch anything either. Me! I did what my mom always told me not to do: “Andi, don’t cut off your nose to spite your face!” Well after that, my face had no nose.
So yesterday, the cable man came back, in the snow, to hook the cable back up. We are sad. We are pitiful. We cannot live without the television.