>Breaking Down

>Yep, that is the phrase of the day. I think I should go back to bed.

It all started this morning at about 4 AM. I tried to make my morning coffee. I turned it on to brew and walked away to nurse a crying baby before I got my first cup to avoid giving my sweet angel a jolt of caffeine. It sputtered to life first, so I didn’t think anything of it. But once Zachy-Poo was fed and fat and happy, I nestled him in his little bassinet and went to get my java, and guess what! Nuthin’! I thought I was seriously going to die when I had to settle for pseudo-coffee. Pseudo-coffee is the powdered frou-frou crap that you add to hot water, in case you were wondering. It tastes great, but is decidedly not real coffee. So I was seriously pissed.

Next came the vacuum. “Jaws” has been with us all of 3 years and is a Kirby. She got her name from Mr. Mom, not that I want to date myself or anything. (Incidentally, if you are too young to remember the movie, I do not want to hear a word about it.) I was suckered into purchasing it from a very good salesman those few years ago. I have allergies and so does Evan, so when they did their little demo, I bought into it. So anyhow, if Jaws was dead, there was going to be some serious drama. I figure when you pay $2K on a vacuum (errrr, excuse me, cleaning system), it should last. And John’s dad has one that I swear he has had since before John was born. So now the vacuum and coffeemaker are dead. Now I was really,really pissed.

So later in the morning, John is awake and so is Evan. Evan comes up from his room stating words any seasoned mother sees right through: “I didn’t do it!” Completely unprovoked, too. Didn’t do what, exactly? Because that usually means ” I did do it, but I want to assert my innocence first before you kill me.” It would seem that there was something wrong with the basement drain. And water was backing up, forming a small puddle in the center of the floor. No biggie. We have had rain and storms out the rear end lately, so it is probably from that. I don’t know how that all works, and usually pay people to deal with such issues as a result of my ignorance, so don’t ask me why I jumped to that conclusion when I am never, ever so laid back about anything. So anyhow, John goes down there to investigate. And comes back with the report that not only the unfinished part of the basement, but also the finished part (i.e. Ev’s room!) smells like fricken sewage, and he is going to get a snake at the hardware store to clean out the offending drain. And he leaves. Coffeemaker, vacuum, and entire basement now down for the count. And I am now seriously, seriously pissed.

So John is leaving, and he notices water company trucks lined up and down the street. A-Ha! This trips his memory. A memory of the fluorescent tag they left on our door last week that they would be working on water lines on our street from 10 AM through 7 PM today. A tag he just happened to forget to mention to me. And we are not supposed to use water today. Seriously? He tells me this right after Evan has gotten his annual summer buzz cut and has hair all over his little body. He was standing in the bathroom in his boxers, just about to get in the shower to wash off the itchy hair when John said the words. Poor kid. So we had no choice but to take his shower, anyway. And more water backed up in my basement. Beautiful. (But it turned out Evan really didn’t do it!)

So since we cannot use water, I am really cranky. What of the laundry I needed to throw in before I go to work? Zach needed a bath. I needed a shower before work. Arrrgh. So I call work because I have it written down that I am only working an 8 hr. tonight which I never do. 10:30 PM to 7 AM. I thought it may have been a mistake. But yep, it is true. Only one of my coworkers called in sick and they want to know if I want to come in at 6:30 instead and do a 12. Gah. Those 4 extra hours amount to $200. For the chick who has been off forever. How can I say no? So I tell them I will call them as soon as I know when the water situation will be resolved. And I go out to ask the men working if it will really be until 7 PM. This is when I discover that they have quietly dug a trench through the front yard. So now I have no coffeemaker, vacuum, basement, or front yard. Ummmmmm…

By this point, all I can do is stare. There is no way in hell I am going to make it into work early. I had to call and let them know that, and I feel horrible about it. It is 3:30 PM and we still have no water. I still only have pseudo-coffee. I am wearing frayed scrub bottoms and the old t-shirt in which I slept last night. I am pissy and mean right now, have been awake since 4 AM even though I have to work tonight, and my boobs hurt because I was trying to pump like a mad woman to store enough breastmilk to cover Zach for the extra unplanned time at work tonight that is now not going to happen. My family is tip-toeing around me as if I am a land mine that may explode on them.

I think I really am going back to bed.

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